Today was a beautiful day, weatherwise. Cold, clear, sunny, slightly windy. Only got out a couple of times. Had to cancel services this evening, since our parking lot is still snow/iced over. Stuff is melting, but after the sun goes down, it freezes right back up, so we have a layer of ice over a layer of snow. Makes for interesting footing. And with a number of folks in our congregation sure footing is a serious issue.

HUGE news, almost forgot. Last Saturday, two of our Mexican friends left in a 12 year old Ford Aerostar minivan that needs $2,000.00 worth of work done on it to go back to their hometown so that one of them could be with his wife as she goes through an operation to remove some tumors. They bought the thing for $600.00. It had 177K miles on it, and I fully expected to get a call from them before they got out of the State saying they'd broken down.

I first heard from Valentin on Sunday morning, at 10:55, just as I was WALKING INTO THE SANCTUARY ... they were at the state line between Georgia and Alabama.

This morning, I walked into the bedroom and my cellphone was buzzing. I'd forgotten to take it of vibrate from yesterday, when I was doing some visiting. there was a voicemail message from Valentin telling me they'd gotten to Lucio's house about 8PM last night. The car did fine, and they were well.

I hated that I didn't catch the call, but I was thrilled to hear the message. Leslie and I sat on the end of the bed and said a prayer of thanksgiving and cried a little bit.

When I dialed up my connection, there was another message from Gayle:

-----Original Message-----
From: gayle chatham
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2004 8:23 AM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject:


Kenny,I was awake alot last night and I had this thing that I had to ask you.I always seem to ask God why?? But Why can't we blame The Devil!! I know you think I have really lost my mind but I am trying to get on the right track.Sorry for bothering you but I have Faith in you and I feel comfortable asking you what I consider simple questions! In Christian Love Gayle and Family.I will be going to visit Karen today and will update you.


*****

My reply:

-----Original Message-----
From: Kenny Park [mailto:kennyp@stickdog.com]
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2004 11:20 PM
To: 'gayle chatham'
Subject: the problem of evil


Sorry for the delay in responding, Gayle. Had to mull over it for a while. It's a really good question - what role does Satan play in this?

BTW -- no, I DON'T think you've lost your mind. the fact that you are wrestling with these questions only proves to me that you've GOT your mind - ALL your mind, and heart, and soul and strength engaged in working out what you believe and why ... and how that relates to the reality of life - and PLEASE know that hashing out stuff like this is where I draw MY strength ... where I work out what I believe, and how I can best explain it ... verbalize it ... make it .... preach, as it were. Thanks for trusting me enough to ask the 'simple' questions ... but I would shy away from your using the word 'Faith', I know what you meant, but the word 'faith' carries a really "heavy deep and real" meaning for me, so it makes me uncomfortable when it is used in relation TO me. That's probably a peek into my weirdness... sorry. :-)

Also, could you please let me know what arrangements are for the funeral?

OK. here's where I see Satan's power most clearly defined. what is he called in the Bible? 'the father of LIES'.

Satan's power is ... smoke and mirrors. He has no power over ... us or anyone, unless we give it to him. We MUST live in that reality -- that Christ conquered Satan, conquered death, and he is defeated. was, is, and will remain defeated until the end of time. That's what it means to Live-in (as in usher in) the Kingdom of God.

If we lend credence to what he says - weight to his words that ALWAYS tear down, that ALWAYS cut, that ALWAYS push you away from truth - from God, from Christ- then he gets the power ---- that is MY biggest struggle with Satan on an almost daily basis - hearing him tell me I'm not good enough, not mature enough, not educated enough, not prepared enough ... not [fill in the blank] enough to be who God wants me to be, to DO what God wants me to do...

We CAN blame Satan, but that gives him power in this situation that he doesn't have. It gives him attention he doesn't deserve. It draws us away from the tasks at hand: grieving and healing.

The power he GETS when we 'blame' him is this: he becomes 'responsible' for what happened. That means he had control over the situation, and I don't believe he did. He didn't cause the temperature to drop and the ice to form and the truck to skid. The laws of physics did that. But Satan is nothing if not an opportunist. He WILL grab any and every opportunity he sees and try to turn it to his advantage - for example: Phillip's son might start asking himself why he didn't ask to leave earlier, or later, or why they didn't sit and talk longer, or why did they sit and talk so MUCH ... Karen is going to ask herself why she didn't say something as they were driving, she's probably going to think of a million things that she might've done differently, to stop the accident. And the ONLY thing THAT will accomplish will be to make both of them start blaming themselves for this. The bottom line is, it doesn't change the horrible fact that Phillip is no longer here, but it DOES affect their ability to move forward through their grief in a healthy, redemptive way and live a life that would have made Phillip proud of them. Any amount of time we spend focusing on Satan takes away from time and energy focusing on ministering to the family and finding ways to be Christ's presence to them.

Does that make sense? What are your thoughts?

Please know and let Karen know that Leslie and I are praying for you all and the rest of the family daily.

G&P

Kenny

We've been socked in by the weather ... more or less. Snow started coming down on Sunday evening, and we got enough of it to stop pretty much everything all day Monday. School was scheduled to be out anyway, but they called it off for today and have done so for tomorrow as well. Spent some quality time playing with the kids in the snow yesterday morning, but then Caleb coughed the rest of the day and most of the night, so we stayed in today. Last night we had friends over for supper who were celebrating their 24th anniversary, and that was good, sweet communion. Found out at the beginning of the evening that there'd been an accident not too far from here that claimed the life of a relative of one of the folks who comes to Jerusalem. I called and talked to her for a few minutes, and this morning there was an email waiting for me when I got up:

-----Original Message-----
From: gayle chatham
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 8:26 AM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject: UPDATE on Haydens


I have spoken with Phillips mom late last night and all she knows as of then was that Karen his wife is in really bad shape as she was trapped in the truck. She had all the children there while Phillip and Karen were taking his son Joey back to his moms house.There are 7 children involved instead of 6.Phillip had 3 by his first wife and 3 by Karen and Karen had a daughter by her first marriage.Brian (MY SON)and Joey(MY BROTHER IN LAW)have gone over to Phillips,moms house this morning and we are going to do and help out with whatever we need to do.The children need all our prayers along with the mother and father and the rest of the family.Its really hard on all of us but I keep telling myself that God will not put on us more than we can take.Please tell me if I am wrong.I wonder why a man that has turned his whole life around in the last 7 years could this happen to.I have always been told to not question God but Kenny you were telling me that I can,Please help me understand that I shouldn't feel guilty about questioning this tragety.I honestly am totally confused and I want to understand how to deal with situations like this.I am a believer in Our Heavenly Father and I know he can do the impossible,but I have questions.You don't have to forward this anywhere else as I feel this is a problem I need to understand.Thanks and in Christian Love Gayle and family

this was my reply:

From: Kenny Park [mailto:kennyp@stickdog.com]
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 10:52 AM
To: 'gayle chatham'
Subject: RE: UPDATE on Haydens


Gayle -

The immediate lesson we can learn here is that none of us - whether we are born-again, right-living, gospel-witnessing Christ followers or the wildest, backslidden, not-interested-in-church-or-anything-like-it heathens - NONE of us knows how long we have on this earth. While the grief is overwhelming in Phillip's death, we can find a breath of comfort in knowing that he had given his life to Christ, and was living for HIM.

You're completely on target by focusing on that verse - that God will not put on us more than we can take. The stretching comes when we find out exactly what 'more than we can take' means. Perspective comes with time. Those times in my life when I didn't think I could take any more, ended up being the times through which I grew the most.

Being angry at God and questioning God is in and of itself a statement of faith IN God. If you didn't believe there WAS a God, there'd be no reason to rant and rave at him. Anger and questioning are part of what we are as humans. They are part of our relationships with each other, and they are likewise a part of our relationship with God. God isn't lessened by our questions or anger. God's bigger than that. He can handle it. Job's experience was something like that - he tried to find a reason ... something he DID to cause all that to happen to him - he lost his home, his family, his health ... and it didn't come down to anything he did or didn't do. It just came. That is what happens when you live in a broken world. Lives break, families break. People break.

As for how to deal with the immediate situation... do concrete things. Fix food. Answer calls. Wash clothes, run errands. Sit and BE with the family. Pray a lot. Cry when you need to. When you pray, ask for strength to make it through. Ask for understanding in God's time. Don't expect a revelation in 15 minutes. Remember, perspective comes with time. And be prepared to NOT understand until you are face-to-face. Remember also, God said 'my ways are not your ways.'

I just touched base with Riverside, and the ER nurse told me that Karen had been there, but that she'd been sent home. I imagine you know that already, but I thought I'd pass it on just in case.

With sorrow and love,

Kenny

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

her reply tonight:

From: gayle chatham
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 7:26 PM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject: RE: UPDATE on Haydens


Kenny,I did get to talk to Karen by phone today and she is holding up as best she can.She said that she remembers they just hit a patch of ice and thats what happened.We are all there and are doing everything we can.I am not mad at My Loving God,I have trouble understanding things when they first happen.I know God has a plan for us all and there is a reason for his plan,That's where my prayers really work because over time I get the satisfaction of understanding the reason.I have been in situations before and I couldn't figure out why it had to happen and I prayed for the answer and I have always recieved the answer,it may take weeks or months but God gives me the answer.I know I sound really messed up but it's wonderful to have someone like you to help me understand,I am still learning about God everyday!I can honestly say 10 years ago I would have told you that God was cruel to let something like this happen, but I have been touched and my entire life has changed.I ask or tell my son at least once a week that all I want from him is to be saved and accept Jesus as his Savior and live by his word so I have been praying he will.Brian and Phillip did alot of work together so maybe this is the turning point for my son!You have been such a help with something I would feel ashamed to ask anyone else.In Christian Love Gayle and family


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So it's been an eventful couple of days. Got a call from the local hospital this afternoon that the son of one of the members of Jerusalem had been admitted there. Drove over to spend some time with him and his mom, and while there his father and sister came in. He's suffering from *severe* sleep apnea - life threatening, has developed bronchitis, and fell a couple of times yesterday. Set off some red flags in mom's head, so they took him in and admitted him.

Keep praying, just keep praying.

Again today I spent a good part of the day on the road, driving to and around Richmond visiting folks in the hospitals there and sitting with one of the women in the church while her husband had his defribilator (implanted) ... generator replaced. got back right around 6:30, in time to rush in, put the prayer list together, and run over to church to copy it and hand it out ... and then the business meeting was called to order.

It had the potential for being a little dicey, but turned out to be ok. no shouting matches, and everyone behaved. haven't seen anyone get out of hand in a meeting here ... yet. I'll admit, I was a little nervous as the time drew nearer, but ended up being more flustered that we didn't have a prayer time before the meeting than at the events of the meeting itself.

I confess, I've not always been a model pray-er, but it seems to have become a critical part of my ... makeup, since june, if not ... well ... really, since a year ago, when i first started to pursue the hispanic ministry opportunity.

Speaking of, had to tell Valentin about the car needing $2,000.00 worth of work on it (they paid +/- $760.00 for it, 'as is', it's a 92 Aerostar Minivan, and has 177k miles on it, and after the mechanic looked at it yesterday and this morning, he said it'll be lucky to make it out of the STATE, much less out of the country.

It's been a long week. I'm glad I don't have to preach Sunday ... at least not until the devotional time at the encuentro. :-)

Grace & Peace

Today I spent a good part of the day on the road. I'm on Chaplaincy rotation at the local hospital (riverside tappahannock hospital), and did that for a couple of hours this morning, but had to leave to drive to Richmond to visit a couple of folks who are ... connected with the church who are in one case undergoing radiation treatment and surgery to complete a hysterectomy. Tomorrow morning I'll be heading back to Richmond to be with another family while the husband has the battery replaced on his implanted defibrilator.

Spent a lot of time in Richmond last week as well. The downside was and has been that I've not gotten around to my local visits like I'd been used to. Hopefully I can do that Thursday during the day. :-)

I knew ministry would entail a lot of time in hospitals ... and i'm fortunate to have gotten something of a background in medicine in one of my previous jobs, it has helped me understand what to expect, and I've found myself not too intimidated by the surroundings.

A well-placed, polite question does a world of good in unfamiliar situations.

hmmm ... ok. i found the clock and changed it (hopefully) to reflect my local time here. do you need to know where 'here' is? we're in emmerton va, which is a tiny hamlet outside the small town of Warsaw, on the Northern Neck Peninsula, between the Rappahannock and the potomac rivers. Emmerton is unincorporated. it used to have it's own post office, but no longer does. we live across the street from it. we've been here since june of 2003 and love it. really. rural living ... or nearly rural, (except we don't farm) i suppose. this afternoon we went to farnham manor, a nearby retirement home, and had a brief (30 minute) worship service. i lost my train of thought completely while giving the devotional, and ran with the second referenced scripture and forgot completely to work my way back to the first... oh well.

this evening, we had our monthly 'family night' event at church. tonight we had 'soup night' - four different kinds of soup, plus sandwiches and a couple of sides, and desserts. at the opening of the prayer, i commented that, although we as baptists like to joke about how much we like to eat (and i suspect any given denomination will claim the same thing), after all is said and done, anytime we gather in community to share a meal and fellowship with each other, it is a foretast of the feast that is to come. the message this morning was about making the kingdom of God real TODAY, HERE, and not just look for a time in some distant future. (crf: rev 21:1-5 and Philippians 1:21-25)

the morning went well. it is always surprising that, so far, no matter how much or how little sleep i've had (and unfortunately, my track record for getting a full night's sleep on saturdays has headed WAY south in the last 7 months), being in worship, greeting people, hearing what is going on with their lives, and getting to speak grace into their lives energizes me ...

for what it's worth, on the myers-briggs scale i am an INFP, which among other things, means that i am supposed to draw my energy from solitude. i still DO, but this is different. in a really, really good way.

grace and peace

Here it is, a quarter past two in the morning (on the east coast of the US), and i've got the message in the other window, and just had to go and get this thing going ... it really does feel a little presumptuous, to begin writing as though someone might be interested in what i'm thinking, or what i might say... but my friend jay said that's the beauty of it, it doesn't have to be worthwhile ... and it keeps him accountable. PLEASE feel free to chime in. if you're in something of a similar situation as i, that request is directed ESPECIALLY to you.

January 15th, 2004
Funeral for Mary Jane Headley

Ro 8:35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Mary Jane and Earl and I first met in a hospital room at Rappahannock General Hospital, in Kilmarnock, towards the end of June of last year. I’d just come to Jerusalem, and that particular visit was my first as Pastor of the church. I was nervous, to the point that I mispronounced her name and called her Mary Jean throughout the visit. I don’t know if she and Earl caught it, since I was not speaking much louder than I am now, but either way, they graciously did not correct me.

That graciousness at that first visit set the tone for our entire relationship. When she found out that we have 3 children, her eyes lit up. She always asked about them, what they liked, how they were enjoying living here.

A few weeks later, it must’ve been a Monday or Tuesday evening, the front doorbell rang, and it was Karen Veney, her daughter, and Mary Jane, coming back from a trip to town. They had stopped by one of the vegetable stands and brought us several pounds of squash, zucchini, tomatoes, and a huge watermelon.

When the County Fair came around, she gave us money to let the kids go – and they had a blast. Caleb has a cast-iron stomach. If the ride twirled, spun, or flipped, he was on it. He went through me and Leslie and another friend before he got tired of riding himself.

Graciousness combined with generosity. There’s a name for that in the Bible – the gift of helps, the ability and the willingness to provide for others, to gift others, and to find joy in that.

By all accounts, Mary Jane lived life fully. She told me in the fall that one of the things she missed most was good food, and how she loved to cook. She shared about vacation trips to Myrtle Beach, and of how much she loved to spend time with friends and family.

She loved her work as well. It is telling that, yesterday while I was waiting to pick up our daughter Hannah from school, one of the women waiting to pick up her granddaughter commented on Mary Jane’s passing, and said that she worked under her for 15 years, and that she was the best boss she ever had. I believe those of you who are here as former coworkers can attest to that as well.

But it would be less than truthful to say that all of her life was joy. As with all of us, her life was a combination of joy and sorrow, celebrations and wounds. That is what comes with living in a broken world. Mary Jane accepted that as the reality that it is. She grieved it, and tried to change it, to mend and reconcile as much as she could, but she understood and accepted it with deep, deep sorrow. They joy she found in life and family made those points of sorrow that much more evident.

There’s a benediction, from the 4th century, that goes like this:

May the Lord Christ go before you—to prepare your way;
Christ beside you, be companion to you, everywhere you go;
Christ beneath you, strengthen and uphold you – when you fall—or fail;
Christ behind you, finish and complete what you must leave undone;
Christ within you, give you faith and courage, love and hope;
But mostly --
Christ above you, bless and keep you, now and evermore!
Amen!

Mary Jane has left things undone – both in the best sense of the word and otherwise. She set so many of us on good paths. It is our task to follow those paths – to follow her example, and to never forget that, as Paul wrote to the church in Rome so long ago- neither trouble or hardship or persecution, famine or nakedness, danger or the sword, neither death nor life, nor angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, height nor depth—nothing in ALL creation will separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Let’s pray.