We've been socked in by the weather ... more or less. Snow started coming down on Sunday evening, and we got enough of it to stop pretty much everything all day Monday. School was scheduled to be out anyway, but they called it off for today and have done so for tomorrow as well. Spent some quality time playing with the kids in the snow yesterday morning, but then Caleb coughed the rest of the day and most of the night, so we stayed in today. Last night we had friends over for supper who were celebrating their 24th anniversary, and that was good, sweet communion. Found out at the beginning of the evening that there'd been an accident not too far from here that claimed the life of a relative of one of the folks who comes to Jerusalem. I called and talked to her for a few minutes, and this morning there was an email waiting for me when I got up:

-----Original Message-----
From: gayle chatham
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 8:26 AM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject: UPDATE on Haydens


I have spoken with Phillips mom late last night and all she knows as of then was that Karen his wife is in really bad shape as she was trapped in the truck. She had all the children there while Phillip and Karen were taking his son Joey back to his moms house.There are 7 children involved instead of 6.Phillip had 3 by his first wife and 3 by Karen and Karen had a daughter by her first marriage.Brian (MY SON)and Joey(MY BROTHER IN LAW)have gone over to Phillips,moms house this morning and we are going to do and help out with whatever we need to do.The children need all our prayers along with the mother and father and the rest of the family.Its really hard on all of us but I keep telling myself that God will not put on us more than we can take.Please tell me if I am wrong.I wonder why a man that has turned his whole life around in the last 7 years could this happen to.I have always been told to not question God but Kenny you were telling me that I can,Please help me understand that I shouldn't feel guilty about questioning this tragety.I honestly am totally confused and I want to understand how to deal with situations like this.I am a believer in Our Heavenly Father and I know he can do the impossible,but I have questions.You don't have to forward this anywhere else as I feel this is a problem I need to understand.Thanks and in Christian Love Gayle and family

this was my reply:

From: Kenny Park [mailto:kennyp@stickdog.com]
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 10:52 AM
To: 'gayle chatham'
Subject: RE: UPDATE on Haydens


Gayle -

The immediate lesson we can learn here is that none of us - whether we are born-again, right-living, gospel-witnessing Christ followers or the wildest, backslidden, not-interested-in-church-or-anything-like-it heathens - NONE of us knows how long we have on this earth. While the grief is overwhelming in Phillip's death, we can find a breath of comfort in knowing that he had given his life to Christ, and was living for HIM.

You're completely on target by focusing on that verse - that God will not put on us more than we can take. The stretching comes when we find out exactly what 'more than we can take' means. Perspective comes with time. Those times in my life when I didn't think I could take any more, ended up being the times through which I grew the most.

Being angry at God and questioning God is in and of itself a statement of faith IN God. If you didn't believe there WAS a God, there'd be no reason to rant and rave at him. Anger and questioning are part of what we are as humans. They are part of our relationships with each other, and they are likewise a part of our relationship with God. God isn't lessened by our questions or anger. God's bigger than that. He can handle it. Job's experience was something like that - he tried to find a reason ... something he DID to cause all that to happen to him - he lost his home, his family, his health ... and it didn't come down to anything he did or didn't do. It just came. That is what happens when you live in a broken world. Lives break, families break. People break.

As for how to deal with the immediate situation... do concrete things. Fix food. Answer calls. Wash clothes, run errands. Sit and BE with the family. Pray a lot. Cry when you need to. When you pray, ask for strength to make it through. Ask for understanding in God's time. Don't expect a revelation in 15 minutes. Remember, perspective comes with time. And be prepared to NOT understand until you are face-to-face. Remember also, God said 'my ways are not your ways.'

I just touched base with Riverside, and the ER nurse told me that Karen had been there, but that she'd been sent home. I imagine you know that already, but I thought I'd pass it on just in case.

With sorrow and love,

Kenny

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

her reply tonight:

From: gayle chatham
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 7:26 PM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject: RE: UPDATE on Haydens


Kenny,I did get to talk to Karen by phone today and she is holding up as best she can.She said that she remembers they just hit a patch of ice and thats what happened.We are all there and are doing everything we can.I am not mad at My Loving God,I have trouble understanding things when they first happen.I know God has a plan for us all and there is a reason for his plan,That's where my prayers really work because over time I get the satisfaction of understanding the reason.I have been in situations before and I couldn't figure out why it had to happen and I prayed for the answer and I have always recieved the answer,it may take weeks or months but God gives me the answer.I know I sound really messed up but it's wonderful to have someone like you to help me understand,I am still learning about God everyday!I can honestly say 10 years ago I would have told you that God was cruel to let something like this happen, but I have been touched and my entire life has changed.I ask or tell my son at least once a week that all I want from him is to be saved and accept Jesus as his Savior and live by his word so I have been praying he will.Brian and Phillip did alot of work together so maybe this is the turning point for my son!You have been such a help with something I would feel ashamed to ask anyone else.In Christian Love Gayle and family


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So it's been an eventful couple of days. Got a call from the local hospital this afternoon that the son of one of the members of Jerusalem had been admitted there. Drove over to spend some time with him and his mom, and while there his father and sister came in. He's suffering from *severe* sleep apnea - life threatening, has developed bronchitis, and fell a couple of times yesterday. Set off some red flags in mom's head, so they took him in and admitted him.

Keep praying, just keep praying.