it's been a long week... a long COUPLE of weeks. Last sunday, our neighbor across the street lost her husband. he was a member of JBC, but hadn't attended in years. he had moved to philadelphia a married and worked his entire career there, then retired back to his "homeplace". he was diagnosed with throat cancer last september. loretta asked me to do the funeral. i'd visited them a few times, but hadn't really had an in-depth discussion with either of them, to the point of being able to say that i knew them well. it still came out well. the funeral was tuesday, primary day here in virginia, and since the fellowship hall at church is a designated polling place, it was not available to host the family after the funeral, so we gladly offered the parsonage for the event. that was really cool. to be able to open our home to the community ... leslie is an angel ... we were up until 1:30 the night before cleaning and straightening up. :-)
THIS week has been odd. busy, definitely, and eventful, but still a little discombobulated. visited margaret in the nursing home that is located on the 2nd floor of the hospital, and had a good time there, ran into charles, who's wife stacy was back in because she'd aspirated some blood when she bit into her tongue while having a seizure the night before ... (32 and has a tumor growing in her brain ... they have a 2 & 1/2 year old daughter)...
yesterday i drove into richmond to visit johnny at st mary's and nellie at home. johnny was in for back surgery, and nellie is losing her vision. she lives in richmond, has for 42 years, and has never moved her membership. every other sunday she drives back here to go to church. on the other sundays she goes to FBC in town.
as i was approaching richmond yesterday, my phone rang, and it was Valentin, he'd just gotten back from mexico, and was at the bus station. i picked him up, did the visiting, then brought him home to have supper with us, shower (he'd been on a bus from brownsville since monday), and then took him home after the deacon's meeting was over with.
this evening we had the group of guys from white stone, including valentin, and cecilia, grisel and manuel and berenice and brenda over for supper. we were GOING to rehearse the songs that the choir will be singing, but decided against it, since we'll be able to do it on sunday at the gathering at upper essex. cecilia let us know of ruben rubio, a friend of theirs (manuel had lived with him for 2 years before moving to heathsville) who had been working construction - roofing- in fredericksburg, and died in a fall yesterday. his wife is expecting their third child, and they have an 18 month old and a 5 yr old.
they had spent the afternoon, if not the day, driving around to people they knew or who knew ruben, and had collected money to send to his wife and his family.
busyness stops dead in it's tracks when we are confronted with ... mortality, among other things.
O God, help me be you to these people.
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Monday, February 09, 2004
In regards to being witnesses for Christ, where and how do we trade "showing" for "telling", and is that even a valid question? I don't believe the two are exclusive of each other. In fact, they MUST go hand in hand, if I am to follow James' imperative (be doers of the word). Last night, at the Encuentro (Gathering) hosted by Fairfields church, at one point late in the evening, we (Leslie and I) found ourselves seated around a table, talking to Coni, whom we just met for the first time in December, when we hosted "Las Posadas" here at the parsonage, and several of the guys from White Stone. The conversation came around to a discussion about the differences in culture between Mexico and the United States, and Coni was making the point that there is a stronger sense of Community in a Hispanic context than in the normal context here in the States. I agreed with her, and commented that that was what we were trying to build in hosting the gatherings; build community among the Hispanics who are here, as well as (hopefully) build a cross-cultural community between the congregations in the Baptist churches in the association and the Hispanic population on the Northern Neck. More to the point, in forming community, in being IN community, we find ourselves breaking in the Kingdom of God. It is why we do what we do. Coni's response was "That is a lofty goal. You have to have a pure heart to do that." She then looked at Leslie and asked her point blank: "Why are you so good? Were you born that way or did something happen to you to make you like that?"(!!!!) There was a hesitation while Leslie tried to understand what she'd asked, and when she looked at me, I translated the question for her.
You have to know that, over the last several weeks, Leslie has sensed an increasing urgency to share the Gospel in word as well as deed, to call people to a faith response, to say that we can talk about shared concepts of faith, but when it comes down to it, being true to the Gospel and to our calling demands a response, a decision, a conscious choice as to how we are going to live our lives: for ourselves or for God. I had already planned on reiterating the basic Gospel message during our devotional time at the end of the evening, but this conversation was something that I couldn't even think of stopping. We sat there for 10 or 15 minutes, and between us explained that (though Leslie was talking about herself, what she was saying applies to both of us, so I will use "we") we were not good, that all of us around the table were sinners, separated from God, and that no matter how hard we tried, nothing we could do in and of ourselves could reconnect us to God. That reconnection with God came about through our encounter with Jesus Christ and our continuing relationship with him. That we do what we do in terms of carrying on the ministry is an answer to Christ's imperative. We must do this, in response to the love that we have experienced in Christ. We're not doing this out of a sense of guilt, or with the expectation of being rewarded for it. What we would consider a success would be to share this kindness, the Gospel in deed, and to know that they return to Mexico and once there, they in turn "pay it forward". We brought up the movie by that name to illustrate the point. We do something without the expectation of getting something back from the people we do it for, but in the expectation (and hope) that at some point in the future they would do the same for others, out of the love that they have experienced through meeting Christ in these gatherings.
For answering our deepest longing by providing communion, we give you thanks, O God.
Give us wisdom to recognize opportunities when you place them before us, and courage to stand in the gap and flesh out your word in our living. Amen.
You have to know that, over the last several weeks, Leslie has sensed an increasing urgency to share the Gospel in word as well as deed, to call people to a faith response, to say that we can talk about shared concepts of faith, but when it comes down to it, being true to the Gospel and to our calling demands a response, a decision, a conscious choice as to how we are going to live our lives: for ourselves or for God. I had already planned on reiterating the basic Gospel message during our devotional time at the end of the evening, but this conversation was something that I couldn't even think of stopping. We sat there for 10 or 15 minutes, and between us explained that (though Leslie was talking about herself, what she was saying applies to both of us, so I will use "we") we were not good, that all of us around the table were sinners, separated from God, and that no matter how hard we tried, nothing we could do in and of ourselves could reconnect us to God. That reconnection with God came about through our encounter with Jesus Christ and our continuing relationship with him. That we do what we do in terms of carrying on the ministry is an answer to Christ's imperative. We must do this, in response to the love that we have experienced in Christ. We're not doing this out of a sense of guilt, or with the expectation of being rewarded for it. What we would consider a success would be to share this kindness, the Gospel in deed, and to know that they return to Mexico and once there, they in turn "pay it forward". We brought up the movie by that name to illustrate the point. We do something without the expectation of getting something back from the people we do it for, but in the expectation (and hope) that at some point in the future they would do the same for others, out of the love that they have experienced through meeting Christ in these gatherings.
For answering our deepest longing by providing communion, we give you thanks, O God.
Give us wisdom to recognize opportunities when you place them before us, and courage to stand in the gap and flesh out your word in our living. Amen.
Friday, February 06, 2004
We're hoping to have a gathering ('Encuentro') this Sunday, weather permitting. I don't know if the forecast is calling for it to do anything besides what it's been doing for the last three days, which is rain, but I certainly HOPE not.
I called Mundo and Gabino and Valentin in Mexico this morning, just to talk (I finally signed up for an international calling plan that wouldn't make it prohibitively expensive to place the calls). Mundo was completely shocked that I'd called. Unfortunately, Gabino wasn't home, so I left it that I'd call him Sunday morning at 9 AM our time. Valentin was in, and we talked for a good long while. Maria is doing fine, she'll have to go through a similar procedure on her other breast, but that will take place once Valentin has returned home (he's leaving there to come back here a week from Monday, and will be staying through the first of April).
Miguel called me this afternoon from White Stone and basically said "we haven't been working since Wednesday afternoon, we're bored out of our skulls, can you come and get us and take us somewhere so we can at least get OUT of here? (they live about 3 mile's walk from town ... and 'town' is White Stone, which is beautiful, picturesque, lovely to visit, but there's not a lot going on, if you're looking for excitement) I ran down and picked Miguel, his brother Cecilio, and their stepfather Martin up, and brought them here to the house and we spent the afternoon and evening together. Took them to the local Wal-Mart to do their weekly shopping, then back here to eat supper, then back to White Stone. The evening was fun ... we pretty much let them do what they wanted. Miguel played with Judson some, and Martin just sat and relaxed for the most part. We got some international rates for sending packages to Mexico. Cecilio's got some clothes he wants to send back home to his wife and two sons. A couple of the other men have other things they want to send back as well.
We got up and started to make motions to head out, when Miguel asked if I could make a copy of the CD we were listening to, Cecilia Echeñique's - En Silencio, a CD that either I picked up when we were in Chile in 91 or that Jimmy and Anne brought me back from their trip. I pulled it out of the player and brought it in here and dropped it into the pc to make a copy, and while I was doing that, we asked him to take a hymnbook with him to look through to see if he could learn some of the songs that they like to sing and play them on the guitar, for the Encuentros.
While I was working on the CD, he came in and had a question about reading music ... I tried to explain as best I could, and called Leslie in to help out ... for the next 20 minutes, heaven really did come down.
Leslie and Miguel sat down at the piano and started going over how to read music (he recently bought himself a keyboard, and is learning how to play, and he already plays guitar and sings beautifully) ... while they were engaged in that, I was in here doing all this other stuff, and Hannah and Cecilio started to teach each other their respective languages. Hannah came away so jazzed it was incredible. She and Cecilio apparently hit a groove, and were going through pictures she was drawing to explain some of the words and he was telling her what the word was in Spanish and she was explaining what it was in english ... it truly was amazing to see her investment in this ministry.
It is humbling, O God, to see your hand at work in the lives of others around me. Help me be aware of your hand in my life. Keep me faithful, keep me centered.
I called Mundo and Gabino and Valentin in Mexico this morning, just to talk (I finally signed up for an international calling plan that wouldn't make it prohibitively expensive to place the calls). Mundo was completely shocked that I'd called. Unfortunately, Gabino wasn't home, so I left it that I'd call him Sunday morning at 9 AM our time. Valentin was in, and we talked for a good long while. Maria is doing fine, she'll have to go through a similar procedure on her other breast, but that will take place once Valentin has returned home (he's leaving there to come back here a week from Monday, and will be staying through the first of April).
Miguel called me this afternoon from White Stone and basically said "we haven't been working since Wednesday afternoon, we're bored out of our skulls, can you come and get us and take us somewhere so we can at least get OUT of here? (they live about 3 mile's walk from town ... and 'town' is White Stone, which is beautiful, picturesque, lovely to visit, but there's not a lot going on, if you're looking for excitement) I ran down and picked Miguel, his brother Cecilio, and their stepfather Martin up, and brought them here to the house and we spent the afternoon and evening together. Took them to the local Wal-Mart to do their weekly shopping, then back here to eat supper, then back to White Stone. The evening was fun ... we pretty much let them do what they wanted. Miguel played with Judson some, and Martin just sat and relaxed for the most part. We got some international rates for sending packages to Mexico. Cecilio's got some clothes he wants to send back home to his wife and two sons. A couple of the other men have other things they want to send back as well.
We got up and started to make motions to head out, when Miguel asked if I could make a copy of the CD we were listening to, Cecilia Echeñique's - En Silencio, a CD that either I picked up when we were in Chile in 91 or that Jimmy and Anne brought me back from their trip. I pulled it out of the player and brought it in here and dropped it into the pc to make a copy, and while I was doing that, we asked him to take a hymnbook with him to look through to see if he could learn some of the songs that they like to sing and play them on the guitar, for the Encuentros.
While I was working on the CD, he came in and had a question about reading music ... I tried to explain as best I could, and called Leslie in to help out ... for the next 20 minutes, heaven really did come down.
Leslie and Miguel sat down at the piano and started going over how to read music (he recently bought himself a keyboard, and is learning how to play, and he already plays guitar and sings beautifully) ... while they were engaged in that, I was in here doing all this other stuff, and Hannah and Cecilio started to teach each other their respective languages. Hannah came away so jazzed it was incredible. She and Cecilio apparently hit a groove, and were going through pictures she was drawing to explain some of the words and he was telling her what the word was in Spanish and she was explaining what it was in english ... it truly was amazing to see her investment in this ministry.
It is humbling, O God, to see your hand at work in the lives of others around me. Help me be aware of your hand in my life. Keep me faithful, keep me centered.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
To clarify, Stacy mentioned below in yesterday's posting is not the same Stacey who's blog link I have on this page. Stacy in the blog is a 32 year old woman who has a two year old daughter and a grieving husband who is battling a brain tumor. The prognosis is not good. In fact, the Doctors were not expecting her to make it until Christmas, much less the end of January. She's been in the Hospital for the last 2 if not 3 months. Most of the time when I've stopped in to visit her eyes have been open, but rolled back ... or open, but not really seeing what is going on in the room. She will occasionally focus on your face. Shortly before Christmas, I stopped in to visit and there were about 4 or 5 other people in there visiting as well. She was awake and seemed to actually be engaged in the conversations. I walked over and smiled and sat down next to her and looked her in the eyes and asked what I could do for her. She had an immediate response: "Nothing." I just nodded and said "Ok".
But I still stopped in to see her. There is a woman who sits with her who is a friend of the family, Joyce Self, she is always cheerful, always talkative, she always calls Stacy her precious little baby girl.
I can't imagine what Charles, her husband, is going through. But I can bring him before God, so I do.
This evening, we started our winter Bible Study on Romans. Tonight was just an introductory session, and it went pretty well, I think. We're using Mark Olson's book, put out by Smyth & Helwys (http://www.helwys.com/abs/index.html). First book that I know of where I'm footnoted ... or rather, endnoted ... Fourth chapter is about the ethical implications of salvation vis a vis food sacrificed to idols and various and sundry other Jewish law issues ... The subtitle to the chapter is "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff". Mark was teaching the book as he was writing it last year while still at Thalia Lynn Baptist Church in Virginia Beach (http://thalialynn.com/indexw.htm), and I was attending those classes. I happened to summarize the discussion with that phrase, and Mark tagged it. He is now Pastor at Snyder Memorial Baptist Church in Fayetteville, NC (http://www.snydermbc.com/").
There's visiting to do tomorrow, thankfully I'm relieved of the responsibility to prepare a sermon for Sunday, since Leslie (my wife) is getting to preach. I suspect that, once they hear her, they'll want to hear MORE of her, which is perfectly fine with me!
For the unseen or unnoticed riches you have graced us with, we give you thanks, O God. Help our ingratitude turn to knowing and returning, and acknowledging, and giving thanks in all things.
But I still stopped in to see her. There is a woman who sits with her who is a friend of the family, Joyce Self, she is always cheerful, always talkative, she always calls Stacy her precious little baby girl.
I can't imagine what Charles, her husband, is going through. But I can bring him before God, so I do.
This evening, we started our winter Bible Study on Romans. Tonight was just an introductory session, and it went pretty well, I think. We're using Mark Olson's book, put out by Smyth & Helwys (http://www.helwys.com/abs/index.html). First book that I know of where I'm footnoted ... or rather, endnoted ... Fourth chapter is about the ethical implications of salvation vis a vis food sacrificed to idols and various and sundry other Jewish law issues ... The subtitle to the chapter is "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff". Mark was teaching the book as he was writing it last year while still at Thalia Lynn Baptist Church in Virginia Beach (http://thalialynn.com/indexw.htm), and I was attending those classes. I happened to summarize the discussion with that phrase, and Mark tagged it. He is now Pastor at Snyder Memorial Baptist Church in Fayetteville, NC (http://www.snydermbc.com/").
There's visiting to do tomorrow, thankfully I'm relieved of the responsibility to prepare a sermon for Sunday, since Leslie (my wife) is getting to preach. I suspect that, once they hear her, they'll want to hear MORE of her, which is perfectly fine with me!
For the unseen or unnoticed riches you have graced us with, we give you thanks, O God. Help our ingratitude turn to knowing and returning, and acknowledging, and giving thanks in all things.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
There is something about sitting beside someone who is either asleep or nonresponsive that makes you THINK about exactly why it is that you are there.
There's something about presence, the actual, physical presence, that makes a difference. There were a few words exchanged today.
Stacy will probably be going home tomorrow, since the insurance coverage ran out last week. Home Health Care can do for her at her parent's what they are doing for her at the hospital now.
Margaret was in some pain with her hip, George was asleep, as he usually is. So was Alice. Annie had other visitors, so I chose to come back later. Irene was asleep as well.
I know there is a school of thought that says if someone is asleep, you should wake them and visit anyway. I'm not there yet. Sleep is a precious comodity, but then, I'm coming at this from the viewpoint of 3 little children running around the house, not having spent the last x number of years in a nursing home or an assisted living center, with few distractions, and fewer visitors.
I can hold hands, O God, and I can pray. I don't always have words to sooth, so I'm trusting your presence in me to do that.
There's something about presence, the actual, physical presence, that makes a difference. There were a few words exchanged today.
Stacy will probably be going home tomorrow, since the insurance coverage ran out last week. Home Health Care can do for her at her parent's what they are doing for her at the hospital now.
Margaret was in some pain with her hip, George was asleep, as he usually is. So was Alice. Annie had other visitors, so I chose to come back later. Irene was asleep as well.
I know there is a school of thought that says if someone is asleep, you should wake them and visit anyway. I'm not there yet. Sleep is a precious comodity, but then, I'm coming at this from the viewpoint of 3 little children running around the house, not having spent the last x number of years in a nursing home or an assisted living center, with few distractions, and fewer visitors.
I can hold hands, O God, and I can pray. I don't always have words to sooth, so I'm trusting your presence in me to do that.
It's been a while ... sorry.
Last Saturday Leslie, the kids and I drove up to Ocoquan to watch a gymnastics meet. Hannah and her friend Lindsey are in the gymnastics program run by one of the members of our church, and she encouraged them to attend to see what it was like.
Interesting.
Watching the athletes wasn't nearly as interesting as watching the parents. But it was a fun trip. We had to leave early in order to get back at a decent hour, and to return Lindsey to her parents, but still had a good family trip all in all.
Sunday morning Leslie and I kicked off the study of the book of Romans, with a visit from Phoebe and Paul. Phoebe, of course, delivered the letter, and Paul ... gave testimony to how Jesus had affected his life.
It was really well received. Lots of positive affirmations.
We left right after church to drive down to Va. Beach to celebrate Nana's 96th birthday, had a good time there, visiting with family, and didn't get back until almost 11 that night. Monday morning our brand new neighbor across the street (he'd moved in on Sunday) pulled out into a schoolbus with 10 or so kids on it, and hit the left rear wheelwell. The bus ended up sideways across the road (the driver did an incredible job of keeping it UPRIGHT), and fortunately everyone was uninjured, but it made for an intense morning. After it was cleared away, I made my way down to Irvington to spend some time with other Pastors in the association, and had a good visit with them. It always is good to see them.
Thoughts: it's hard to get back into the swing of things, after last week. I'm heading over to the hospital for my rotation on chaplain duty, and on my way back plan to stop and see the folks in town that I normally visit, so hopefully that will kick me back into gear.
It's a dreary, wet, cold day. Makes it slightly harder to get out in it.
There's something to be said for routine. It lends structure to the day, it helps me to know "what's next" ... and it keeps me focused.
Heading out to Riverside.
My thoughts, Your thoughts. My words, Your words, O God.
Grace & Peace
Last Saturday Leslie, the kids and I drove up to Ocoquan to watch a gymnastics meet. Hannah and her friend Lindsey are in the gymnastics program run by one of the members of our church, and she encouraged them to attend to see what it was like.
Interesting.
Watching the athletes wasn't nearly as interesting as watching the parents. But it was a fun trip. We had to leave early in order to get back at a decent hour, and to return Lindsey to her parents, but still had a good family trip all in all.
Sunday morning Leslie and I kicked off the study of the book of Romans, with a visit from Phoebe and Paul. Phoebe, of course, delivered the letter, and Paul ... gave testimony to how Jesus had affected his life.
It was really well received. Lots of positive affirmations.
We left right after church to drive down to Va. Beach to celebrate Nana's 96th birthday, had a good time there, visiting with family, and didn't get back until almost 11 that night. Monday morning our brand new neighbor across the street (he'd moved in on Sunday) pulled out into a schoolbus with 10 or so kids on it, and hit the left rear wheelwell. The bus ended up sideways across the road (the driver did an incredible job of keeping it UPRIGHT), and fortunately everyone was uninjured, but it made for an intense morning. After it was cleared away, I made my way down to Irvington to spend some time with other Pastors in the association, and had a good visit with them. It always is good to see them.
Thoughts: it's hard to get back into the swing of things, after last week. I'm heading over to the hospital for my rotation on chaplain duty, and on my way back plan to stop and see the folks in town that I normally visit, so hopefully that will kick me back into gear.
It's a dreary, wet, cold day. Makes it slightly harder to get out in it.
There's something to be said for routine. It lends structure to the day, it helps me to know "what's next" ... and it keeps me focused.
Heading out to Riverside.
My thoughts, Your thoughts. My words, Your words, O God.
Grace & Peace
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Today was a beautiful day, weatherwise. Cold, clear, sunny, slightly windy. Only got out a couple of times. Had to cancel services this evening, since our parking lot is still snow/iced over. Stuff is melting, but after the sun goes down, it freezes right back up, so we have a layer of ice over a layer of snow. Makes for interesting footing. And with a number of folks in our congregation sure footing is a serious issue.
HUGE news, almost forgot. Last Saturday, two of our Mexican friends left in a 12 year old Ford Aerostar minivan that needs $2,000.00 worth of work done on it to go back to their hometown so that one of them could be with his wife as she goes through an operation to remove some tumors. They bought the thing for $600.00. It had 177K miles on it, and I fully expected to get a call from them before they got out of the State saying they'd broken down.
I first heard from Valentin on Sunday morning, at 10:55, just as I was WALKING INTO THE SANCTUARY ... they were at the state line between Georgia and Alabama.
This morning, I walked into the bedroom and my cellphone was buzzing. I'd forgotten to take it of vibrate from yesterday, when I was doing some visiting. there was a voicemail message from Valentin telling me they'd gotten to Lucio's house about 8PM last night. The car did fine, and they were well.
I hated that I didn't catch the call, but I was thrilled to hear the message. Leslie and I sat on the end of the bed and said a prayer of thanksgiving and cried a little bit.
When I dialed up my connection, there was another message from Gayle:
-----Original Message-----
From: gayle chatham
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2004 8:23 AM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject:
Kenny,I was awake alot last night and I had this thing that I had to ask you.I always seem to ask God why?? But Why can't we blame The Devil!! I know you think I have really lost my mind but I am trying to get on the right track.Sorry for bothering you but I have Faith in you and I feel comfortable asking you what I consider simple questions! In Christian Love Gayle and Family.I will be going to visit Karen today and will update you.
*****
My reply:
-----Original Message-----
From: Kenny Park [mailto:kennyp@stickdog.com]
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2004 11:20 PM
To: 'gayle chatham'
Subject: the problem of evil
Sorry for the delay in responding, Gayle. Had to mull over it for a while. It's a really good question - what role does Satan play in this?
BTW -- no, I DON'T think you've lost your mind. the fact that you are wrestling with these questions only proves to me that you've GOT your mind - ALL your mind, and heart, and soul and strength engaged in working out what you believe and why ... and how that relates to the reality of life - and PLEASE know that hashing out stuff like this is where I draw MY strength ... where I work out what I believe, and how I can best explain it ... verbalize it ... make it .... preach, as it were. Thanks for trusting me enough to ask the 'simple' questions ... but I would shy away from your using the word 'Faith', I know what you meant, but the word 'faith' carries a really "heavy deep and real" meaning for me, so it makes me uncomfortable when it is used in relation TO me. That's probably a peek into my weirdness... sorry. :-)
Also, could you please let me know what arrangements are for the funeral?
OK. here's where I see Satan's power most clearly defined. what is he called in the Bible? 'the father of LIES'.
Satan's power is ... smoke and mirrors. He has no power over ... us or anyone, unless we give it to him. We MUST live in that reality -- that Christ conquered Satan, conquered death, and he is defeated. was, is, and will remain defeated until the end of time. That's what it means to Live-in (as in usher in) the Kingdom of God.
If we lend credence to what he says - weight to his words that ALWAYS tear down, that ALWAYS cut, that ALWAYS push you away from truth - from God, from Christ- then he gets the power ---- that is MY biggest struggle with Satan on an almost daily basis - hearing him tell me I'm not good enough, not mature enough, not educated enough, not prepared enough ... not [fill in the blank] enough to be who God wants me to be, to DO what God wants me to do...
We CAN blame Satan, but that gives him power in this situation that he doesn't have. It gives him attention he doesn't deserve. It draws us away from the tasks at hand: grieving and healing.
The power he GETS when we 'blame' him is this: he becomes 'responsible' for what happened. That means he had control over the situation, and I don't believe he did. He didn't cause the temperature to drop and the ice to form and the truck to skid. The laws of physics did that. But Satan is nothing if not an opportunist. He WILL grab any and every opportunity he sees and try to turn it to his advantage - for example: Phillip's son might start asking himself why he didn't ask to leave earlier, or later, or why they didn't sit and talk longer, or why did they sit and talk so MUCH ... Karen is going to ask herself why she didn't say something as they were driving, she's probably going to think of a million things that she might've done differently, to stop the accident. And the ONLY thing THAT will accomplish will be to make both of them start blaming themselves for this. The bottom line is, it doesn't change the horrible fact that Phillip is no longer here, but it DOES affect their ability to move forward through their grief in a healthy, redemptive way and live a life that would have made Phillip proud of them. Any amount of time we spend focusing on Satan takes away from time and energy focusing on ministering to the family and finding ways to be Christ's presence to them.
Does that make sense? What are your thoughts?
Please know and let Karen know that Leslie and I are praying for you all and the rest of the family daily.
G&P
Kenny
HUGE news, almost forgot. Last Saturday, two of our Mexican friends left in a 12 year old Ford Aerostar minivan that needs $2,000.00 worth of work done on it to go back to their hometown so that one of them could be with his wife as she goes through an operation to remove some tumors. They bought the thing for $600.00. It had 177K miles on it, and I fully expected to get a call from them before they got out of the State saying they'd broken down.
I first heard from Valentin on Sunday morning, at 10:55, just as I was WALKING INTO THE SANCTUARY ... they were at the state line between Georgia and Alabama.
This morning, I walked into the bedroom and my cellphone was buzzing. I'd forgotten to take it of vibrate from yesterday, when I was doing some visiting. there was a voicemail message from Valentin telling me they'd gotten to Lucio's house about 8PM last night. The car did fine, and they were well.
I hated that I didn't catch the call, but I was thrilled to hear the message. Leslie and I sat on the end of the bed and said a prayer of thanksgiving and cried a little bit.
When I dialed up my connection, there was another message from Gayle:
-----Original Message-----
From: gayle chatham
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2004 8:23 AM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject:
Kenny,I was awake alot last night and I had this thing that I had to ask you.I always seem to ask God why?? But Why can't we blame The Devil!! I know you think I have really lost my mind but I am trying to get on the right track.Sorry for bothering you but I have Faith in you and I feel comfortable asking you what I consider simple questions! In Christian Love Gayle and Family.I will be going to visit Karen today and will update you.
*****
My reply:
-----Original Message-----
From: Kenny Park [mailto:kennyp@stickdog.com]
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2004 11:20 PM
To: 'gayle chatham'
Subject: the problem of evil
Sorry for the delay in responding, Gayle. Had to mull over it for a while. It's a really good question - what role does Satan play in this?
BTW -- no, I DON'T think you've lost your mind. the fact that you are wrestling with these questions only proves to me that you've GOT your mind - ALL your mind, and heart, and soul and strength engaged in working out what you believe and why ... and how that relates to the reality of life - and PLEASE know that hashing out stuff like this is where I draw MY strength ... where I work out what I believe, and how I can best explain it ... verbalize it ... make it .... preach, as it were. Thanks for trusting me enough to ask the 'simple' questions ... but I would shy away from your using the word 'Faith', I know what you meant, but the word 'faith' carries a really "heavy deep and real" meaning for me, so it makes me uncomfortable when it is used in relation TO me. That's probably a peek into my weirdness... sorry. :-)
Also, could you please let me know what arrangements are for the funeral?
OK. here's where I see Satan's power most clearly defined. what is he called in the Bible? 'the father of LIES'.
Satan's power is ... smoke and mirrors. He has no power over ... us or anyone, unless we give it to him. We MUST live in that reality -- that Christ conquered Satan, conquered death, and he is defeated. was, is, and will remain defeated until the end of time. That's what it means to Live-in (as in usher in) the Kingdom of God.
If we lend credence to what he says - weight to his words that ALWAYS tear down, that ALWAYS cut, that ALWAYS push you away from truth - from God, from Christ- then he gets the power ---- that is MY biggest struggle with Satan on an almost daily basis - hearing him tell me I'm not good enough, not mature enough, not educated enough, not prepared enough ... not [fill in the blank] enough to be who God wants me to be, to DO what God wants me to do...
We CAN blame Satan, but that gives him power in this situation that he doesn't have. It gives him attention he doesn't deserve. It draws us away from the tasks at hand: grieving and healing.
The power he GETS when we 'blame' him is this: he becomes 'responsible' for what happened. That means he had control over the situation, and I don't believe he did. He didn't cause the temperature to drop and the ice to form and the truck to skid. The laws of physics did that. But Satan is nothing if not an opportunist. He WILL grab any and every opportunity he sees and try to turn it to his advantage - for example: Phillip's son might start asking himself why he didn't ask to leave earlier, or later, or why they didn't sit and talk longer, or why did they sit and talk so MUCH ... Karen is going to ask herself why she didn't say something as they were driving, she's probably going to think of a million things that she might've done differently, to stop the accident. And the ONLY thing THAT will accomplish will be to make both of them start blaming themselves for this. The bottom line is, it doesn't change the horrible fact that Phillip is no longer here, but it DOES affect their ability to move forward through their grief in a healthy, redemptive way and live a life that would have made Phillip proud of them. Any amount of time we spend focusing on Satan takes away from time and energy focusing on ministering to the family and finding ways to be Christ's presence to them.
Does that make sense? What are your thoughts?
Please know and let Karen know that Leslie and I are praying for you all and the rest of the family daily.
G&P
Kenny
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
We've been socked in by the weather ... more or less. Snow started coming down on Sunday evening, and we got enough of it to stop pretty much everything all day Monday. School was scheduled to be out anyway, but they called it off for today and have done so for tomorrow as well. Spent some quality time playing with the kids in the snow yesterday morning, but then Caleb coughed the rest of the day and most of the night, so we stayed in today. Last night we had friends over for supper who were celebrating their 24th anniversary, and that was good, sweet communion. Found out at the beginning of the evening that there'd been an accident not too far from here that claimed the life of a relative of one of the folks who comes to Jerusalem. I called and talked to her for a few minutes, and this morning there was an email waiting for me when I got up:
-----Original Message-----
From: gayle chatham
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 8:26 AM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject: UPDATE on Haydens
I have spoken with Phillips mom late last night and all she knows as of then was that Karen his wife is in really bad shape as she was trapped in the truck. She had all the children there while Phillip and Karen were taking his son Joey back to his moms house.There are 7 children involved instead of 6.Phillip had 3 by his first wife and 3 by Karen and Karen had a daughter by her first marriage.Brian (MY SON)and Joey(MY BROTHER IN LAW)have gone over to Phillips,moms house this morning and we are going to do and help out with whatever we need to do.The children need all our prayers along with the mother and father and the rest of the family.Its really hard on all of us but I keep telling myself that God will not put on us more than we can take.Please tell me if I am wrong.I wonder why a man that has turned his whole life around in the last 7 years could this happen to.I have always been told to not question God but Kenny you were telling me that I can,Please help me understand that I shouldn't feel guilty about questioning this tragety.I honestly am totally confused and I want to understand how to deal with situations like this.I am a believer in Our Heavenly Father and I know he can do the impossible,but I have questions.You don't have to forward this anywhere else as I feel this is a problem I need to understand.Thanks and in Christian Love Gayle and family
this was my reply:
From: Kenny Park [mailto:kennyp@stickdog.com]
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 10:52 AM
To: 'gayle chatham'
Subject: RE: UPDATE on Haydens
Gayle -
The immediate lesson we can learn here is that none of us - whether we are born-again, right-living, gospel-witnessing Christ followers or the wildest, backslidden, not-interested-in-church-or-anything-like-it heathens - NONE of us knows how long we have on this earth. While the grief is overwhelming in Phillip's death, we can find a breath of comfort in knowing that he had given his life to Christ, and was living for HIM.
You're completely on target by focusing on that verse - that God will not put on us more than we can take. The stretching comes when we find out exactly what 'more than we can take' means. Perspective comes with time. Those times in my life when I didn't think I could take any more, ended up being the times through which I grew the most.
Being angry at God and questioning God is in and of itself a statement of faith IN God. If you didn't believe there WAS a God, there'd be no reason to rant and rave at him. Anger and questioning are part of what we are as humans. They are part of our relationships with each other, and they are likewise a part of our relationship with God. God isn't lessened by our questions or anger. God's bigger than that. He can handle it. Job's experience was something like that - he tried to find a reason ... something he DID to cause all that to happen to him - he lost his home, his family, his health ... and it didn't come down to anything he did or didn't do. It just came. That is what happens when you live in a broken world. Lives break, families break. People break.
As for how to deal with the immediate situation... do concrete things. Fix food. Answer calls. Wash clothes, run errands. Sit and BE with the family. Pray a lot. Cry when you need to. When you pray, ask for strength to make it through. Ask for understanding in God's time. Don't expect a revelation in 15 minutes. Remember, perspective comes with time. And be prepared to NOT understand until you are face-to-face. Remember also, God said 'my ways are not your ways.'
I just touched base with Riverside, and the ER nurse told me that Karen had been there, but that she'd been sent home. I imagine you know that already, but I thought I'd pass it on just in case.
With sorrow and love,
Kenny
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
her reply tonight:
From: gayle chatham
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 7:26 PM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject: RE: UPDATE on Haydens
Kenny,I did get to talk to Karen by phone today and she is holding up as best she can.She said that she remembers they just hit a patch of ice and thats what happened.We are all there and are doing everything we can.I am not mad at My Loving God,I have trouble understanding things when they first happen.I know God has a plan for us all and there is a reason for his plan,That's where my prayers really work because over time I get the satisfaction of understanding the reason.I have been in situations before and I couldn't figure out why it had to happen and I prayed for the answer and I have always recieved the answer,it may take weeks or months but God gives me the answer.I know I sound really messed up but it's wonderful to have someone like you to help me understand,I am still learning about God everyday!I can honestly say 10 years ago I would have told you that God was cruel to let something like this happen, but I have been touched and my entire life has changed.I ask or tell my son at least once a week that all I want from him is to be saved and accept Jesus as his Savior and live by his word so I have been praying he will.Brian and Phillip did alot of work together so maybe this is the turning point for my son!You have been such a help with something I would feel ashamed to ask anyone else.In Christian Love Gayle and family
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So it's been an eventful couple of days. Got a call from the local hospital this afternoon that the son of one of the members of Jerusalem had been admitted there. Drove over to spend some time with him and his mom, and while there his father and sister came in. He's suffering from *severe* sleep apnea - life threatening, has developed bronchitis, and fell a couple of times yesterday. Set off some red flags in mom's head, so they took him in and admitted him.
Keep praying, just keep praying.
-----Original Message-----
From: gayle chatham
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 8:26 AM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject: UPDATE on Haydens
I have spoken with Phillips mom late last night and all she knows as of then was that Karen his wife is in really bad shape as she was trapped in the truck. She had all the children there while Phillip and Karen were taking his son Joey back to his moms house.There are 7 children involved instead of 6.Phillip had 3 by his first wife and 3 by Karen and Karen had a daughter by her first marriage.Brian (MY SON)and Joey(MY BROTHER IN LAW)have gone over to Phillips,moms house this morning and we are going to do and help out with whatever we need to do.The children need all our prayers along with the mother and father and the rest of the family.Its really hard on all of us but I keep telling myself that God will not put on us more than we can take.Please tell me if I am wrong.I wonder why a man that has turned his whole life around in the last 7 years could this happen to.I have always been told to not question God but Kenny you were telling me that I can,Please help me understand that I shouldn't feel guilty about questioning this tragety.I honestly am totally confused and I want to understand how to deal with situations like this.I am a believer in Our Heavenly Father and I know he can do the impossible,but I have questions.You don't have to forward this anywhere else as I feel this is a problem I need to understand.Thanks and in Christian Love Gayle and family
this was my reply:
From: Kenny Park [mailto:kennyp@stickdog.com]
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 10:52 AM
To: 'gayle chatham'
Subject: RE: UPDATE on Haydens
Gayle -
The immediate lesson we can learn here is that none of us - whether we are born-again, right-living, gospel-witnessing Christ followers or the wildest, backslidden, not-interested-in-church-or-anything-like-it heathens - NONE of us knows how long we have on this earth. While the grief is overwhelming in Phillip's death, we can find a breath of comfort in knowing that he had given his life to Christ, and was living for HIM.
You're completely on target by focusing on that verse - that God will not put on us more than we can take. The stretching comes when we find out exactly what 'more than we can take' means. Perspective comes with time. Those times in my life when I didn't think I could take any more, ended up being the times through which I grew the most.
Being angry at God and questioning God is in and of itself a statement of faith IN God. If you didn't believe there WAS a God, there'd be no reason to rant and rave at him. Anger and questioning are part of what we are as humans. They are part of our relationships with each other, and they are likewise a part of our relationship with God. God isn't lessened by our questions or anger. God's bigger than that. He can handle it. Job's experience was something like that - he tried to find a reason ... something he DID to cause all that to happen to him - he lost his home, his family, his health ... and it didn't come down to anything he did or didn't do. It just came. That is what happens when you live in a broken world. Lives break, families break. People break.
As for how to deal with the immediate situation... do concrete things. Fix food. Answer calls. Wash clothes, run errands. Sit and BE with the family. Pray a lot. Cry when you need to. When you pray, ask for strength to make it through. Ask for understanding in God's time. Don't expect a revelation in 15 minutes. Remember, perspective comes with time. And be prepared to NOT understand until you are face-to-face. Remember also, God said 'my ways are not your ways.'
I just touched base with Riverside, and the ER nurse told me that Karen had been there, but that she'd been sent home. I imagine you know that already, but I thought I'd pass it on just in case.
With sorrow and love,
Kenny
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
her reply tonight:
From: gayle chatham
Sent: Tuesday, January 27, 2004 7:26 PM
To: kennyp@stickdog.com
Subject: RE: UPDATE on Haydens
Kenny,I did get to talk to Karen by phone today and she is holding up as best she can.She said that she remembers they just hit a patch of ice and thats what happened.We are all there and are doing everything we can.I am not mad at My Loving God,I have trouble understanding things when they first happen.I know God has a plan for us all and there is a reason for his plan,That's where my prayers really work because over time I get the satisfaction of understanding the reason.I have been in situations before and I couldn't figure out why it had to happen and I prayed for the answer and I have always recieved the answer,it may take weeks or months but God gives me the answer.I know I sound really messed up but it's wonderful to have someone like you to help me understand,I am still learning about God everyday!I can honestly say 10 years ago I would have told you that God was cruel to let something like this happen, but I have been touched and my entire life has changed.I ask or tell my son at least once a week that all I want from him is to be saved and accept Jesus as his Savior and live by his word so I have been praying he will.Brian and Phillip did alot of work together so maybe this is the turning point for my son!You have been such a help with something I would feel ashamed to ask anyone else.In Christian Love Gayle and family
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So it's been an eventful couple of days. Got a call from the local hospital this afternoon that the son of one of the members of Jerusalem had been admitted there. Drove over to spend some time with him and his mom, and while there his father and sister came in. He's suffering from *severe* sleep apnea - life threatening, has developed bronchitis, and fell a couple of times yesterday. Set off some red flags in mom's head, so they took him in and admitted him.
Keep praying, just keep praying.
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Again today I spent a good part of the day on the road, driving to and around Richmond visiting folks in the hospitals there and sitting with one of the women in the church while her husband had his defribilator (implanted) ... generator replaced. got back right around 6:30, in time to rush in, put the prayer list together, and run over to church to copy it and hand it out ... and then the business meeting was called to order.
It had the potential for being a little dicey, but turned out to be ok. no shouting matches, and everyone behaved. haven't seen anyone get out of hand in a meeting here ... yet. I'll admit, I was a little nervous as the time drew nearer, but ended up being more flustered that we didn't have a prayer time before the meeting than at the events of the meeting itself.
I confess, I've not always been a model pray-er, but it seems to have become a critical part of my ... makeup, since june, if not ... well ... really, since a year ago, when i first started to pursue the hispanic ministry opportunity.
Speaking of, had to tell Valentin about the car needing $2,000.00 worth of work on it (they paid +/- $760.00 for it, 'as is', it's a 92 Aerostar Minivan, and has 177k miles on it, and after the mechanic looked at it yesterday and this morning, he said it'll be lucky to make it out of the STATE, much less out of the country.
It's been a long week. I'm glad I don't have to preach Sunday ... at least not until the devotional time at the encuentro. :-)
Grace & Peace
It had the potential for being a little dicey, but turned out to be ok. no shouting matches, and everyone behaved. haven't seen anyone get out of hand in a meeting here ... yet. I'll admit, I was a little nervous as the time drew nearer, but ended up being more flustered that we didn't have a prayer time before the meeting than at the events of the meeting itself.
I confess, I've not always been a model pray-er, but it seems to have become a critical part of my ... makeup, since june, if not ... well ... really, since a year ago, when i first started to pursue the hispanic ministry opportunity.
Speaking of, had to tell Valentin about the car needing $2,000.00 worth of work on it (they paid +/- $760.00 for it, 'as is', it's a 92 Aerostar Minivan, and has 177k miles on it, and after the mechanic looked at it yesterday and this morning, he said it'll be lucky to make it out of the STATE, much less out of the country.
It's been a long week. I'm glad I don't have to preach Sunday ... at least not until the devotional time at the encuentro. :-)
Grace & Peace
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Today I spent a good part of the day on the road. I'm on Chaplaincy rotation at the local hospital (riverside tappahannock hospital), and did that for a couple of hours this morning, but had to leave to drive to Richmond to visit a couple of folks who are ... connected with the church who are in one case undergoing radiation treatment and surgery to complete a hysterectomy. Tomorrow morning I'll be heading back to Richmond to be with another family while the husband has the battery replaced on his implanted defibrilator.
Spent a lot of time in Richmond last week as well. The downside was and has been that I've not gotten around to my local visits like I'd been used to. Hopefully I can do that Thursday during the day. :-)
I knew ministry would entail a lot of time in hospitals ... and i'm fortunate to have gotten something of a background in medicine in one of my previous jobs, it has helped me understand what to expect, and I've found myself not too intimidated by the surroundings.
A well-placed, polite question does a world of good in unfamiliar situations.
Spent a lot of time in Richmond last week as well. The downside was and has been that I've not gotten around to my local visits like I'd been used to. Hopefully I can do that Thursday during the day. :-)
I knew ministry would entail a lot of time in hospitals ... and i'm fortunate to have gotten something of a background in medicine in one of my previous jobs, it has helped me understand what to expect, and I've found myself not too intimidated by the surroundings.
A well-placed, polite question does a world of good in unfamiliar situations.
Sunday, January 18, 2004
hmmm ... ok. i found the clock and changed it (hopefully) to reflect my local time here. do you need to know where 'here' is? we're in emmerton va, which is a tiny hamlet outside the small town of Warsaw, on the Northern Neck Peninsula, between the Rappahannock and the potomac rivers. Emmerton is unincorporated. it used to have it's own post office, but no longer does. we live across the street from it. we've been here since june of 2003 and love it. really. rural living ... or nearly rural, (except we don't farm) i suppose. this afternoon we went to farnham manor, a nearby retirement home, and had a brief (30 minute) worship service. i lost my train of thought completely while giving the devotional, and ran with the second referenced scripture and forgot completely to work my way back to the first... oh well.
this evening, we had our monthly 'family night' event at church. tonight we had 'soup night' - four different kinds of soup, plus sandwiches and a couple of sides, and desserts. at the opening of the prayer, i commented that, although we as baptists like to joke about how much we like to eat (and i suspect any given denomination will claim the same thing), after all is said and done, anytime we gather in community to share a meal and fellowship with each other, it is a foretast of the feast that is to come. the message this morning was about making the kingdom of God real TODAY, HERE, and not just look for a time in some distant future. (crf: rev 21:1-5 and Philippians 1:21-25)
this evening, we had our monthly 'family night' event at church. tonight we had 'soup night' - four different kinds of soup, plus sandwiches and a couple of sides, and desserts. at the opening of the prayer, i commented that, although we as baptists like to joke about how much we like to eat (and i suspect any given denomination will claim the same thing), after all is said and done, anytime we gather in community to share a meal and fellowship with each other, it is a foretast of the feast that is to come. the message this morning was about making the kingdom of God real TODAY, HERE, and not just look for a time in some distant future. (crf: rev 21:1-5 and Philippians 1:21-25)
the morning went well. it is always surprising that, so far, no matter how much or how little sleep i've had (and unfortunately, my track record for getting a full night's sleep on saturdays has headed WAY south in the last 7 months), being in worship, greeting people, hearing what is going on with their lives, and getting to speak grace into their lives energizes me ...
for what it's worth, on the myers-briggs scale i am an INFP, which among other things, means that i am supposed to draw my energy from solitude. i still DO, but this is different. in a really, really good way.
grace and peace
for what it's worth, on the myers-briggs scale i am an INFP, which among other things, means that i am supposed to draw my energy from solitude. i still DO, but this is different. in a really, really good way.
grace and peace
Here it is, a quarter past two in the morning (on the east coast of the US), and i've got the message in the other window, and just had to go and get this thing going ... it really does feel a little presumptuous, to begin writing as though someone might be interested in what i'm thinking, or what i might say... but my friend jay said that's the beauty of it, it doesn't have to be worthwhile ... and it keeps him accountable. PLEASE feel free to chime in. if you're in something of a similar situation as i, that request is directed ESPECIALLY to you.
Friday, January 16, 2004
January 15th, 2004
Funeral for Mary Jane Headley
Mary Jane and Earl and I first met in a hospital room at Rappahannock General Hospital, in Kilmarnock, towards the end of June of last year. I’d just come to Jerusalem, and that particular visit was my first as Pastor of the church. I was nervous, to the point that I mispronounced her name and called her Mary Jean throughout the visit. I don’t know if she and Earl caught it, since I was not speaking much louder than I am now, but either way, they graciously did not correct me.
That graciousness at that first visit set the tone for our entire relationship. When she found out that we have 3 children, her eyes lit up. She always asked about them, what they liked, how they were enjoying living here.
A few weeks later, it must’ve been a Monday or Tuesday evening, the front doorbell rang, and it was Karen Veney, her daughter, and Mary Jane, coming back from a trip to town. They had stopped by one of the vegetable stands and brought us several pounds of squash, zucchini, tomatoes, and a huge watermelon.
When the County Fair came around, she gave us money to let the kids go – and they had a blast. Caleb has a cast-iron stomach. If the ride twirled, spun, or flipped, he was on it. He went through me and Leslie and another friend before he got tired of riding himself.
Graciousness combined with generosity. There’s a name for that in the Bible – the gift of helps, the ability and the willingness to provide for others, to gift others, and to find joy in that.
By all accounts, Mary Jane lived life fully. She told me in the fall that one of the things she missed most was good food, and how she loved to cook. She shared about vacation trips to Myrtle Beach, and of how much she loved to spend time with friends and family.
She loved her work as well. It is telling that, yesterday while I was waiting to pick up our daughter Hannah from school, one of the women waiting to pick up her granddaughter commented on Mary Jane’s passing, and said that she worked under her for 15 years, and that she was the best boss she ever had. I believe those of you who are here as former coworkers can attest to that as well.
But it would be less than truthful to say that all of her life was joy. As with all of us, her life was a combination of joy and sorrow, celebrations and wounds. That is what comes with living in a broken world. Mary Jane accepted that as the reality that it is. She grieved it, and tried to change it, to mend and reconcile as much as she could, but she understood and accepted it with deep, deep sorrow. They joy she found in life and family made those points of sorrow that much more evident.
There’s a benediction, from the 4th century, that goes like this:
May the Lord Christ go before you—to prepare your way;
Christ beside you, be companion to you, everywhere you go;
Christ beneath you, strengthen and uphold you – when you fall—or fail;
Christ behind you, finish and complete what you must leave undone;
Christ within you, give you faith and courage, love and hope;
But mostly --
Christ above you, bless and keep you, now and evermore!
Amen!
Mary Jane has left things undone – both in the best sense of the word and otherwise. She set so many of us on good paths. It is our task to follow those paths – to follow her example, and to never forget that, as Paul wrote to the church in Rome so long ago- neither trouble or hardship or persecution, famine or nakedness, danger or the sword, neither death nor life, nor angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, height nor depth—nothing in ALL creation will separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Let’s pray.
Funeral for Mary Jane Headley
Ro 8:35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Mary Jane and Earl and I first met in a hospital room at Rappahannock General Hospital, in Kilmarnock, towards the end of June of last year. I’d just come to Jerusalem, and that particular visit was my first as Pastor of the church. I was nervous, to the point that I mispronounced her name and called her Mary Jean throughout the visit. I don’t know if she and Earl caught it, since I was not speaking much louder than I am now, but either way, they graciously did not correct me.
That graciousness at that first visit set the tone for our entire relationship. When she found out that we have 3 children, her eyes lit up. She always asked about them, what they liked, how they were enjoying living here.
A few weeks later, it must’ve been a Monday or Tuesday evening, the front doorbell rang, and it was Karen Veney, her daughter, and Mary Jane, coming back from a trip to town. They had stopped by one of the vegetable stands and brought us several pounds of squash, zucchini, tomatoes, and a huge watermelon.
When the County Fair came around, she gave us money to let the kids go – and they had a blast. Caleb has a cast-iron stomach. If the ride twirled, spun, or flipped, he was on it. He went through me and Leslie and another friend before he got tired of riding himself.
Graciousness combined with generosity. There’s a name for that in the Bible – the gift of helps, the ability and the willingness to provide for others, to gift others, and to find joy in that.
By all accounts, Mary Jane lived life fully. She told me in the fall that one of the things she missed most was good food, and how she loved to cook. She shared about vacation trips to Myrtle Beach, and of how much she loved to spend time with friends and family.
She loved her work as well. It is telling that, yesterday while I was waiting to pick up our daughter Hannah from school, one of the women waiting to pick up her granddaughter commented on Mary Jane’s passing, and said that she worked under her for 15 years, and that she was the best boss she ever had. I believe those of you who are here as former coworkers can attest to that as well.
But it would be less than truthful to say that all of her life was joy. As with all of us, her life was a combination of joy and sorrow, celebrations and wounds. That is what comes with living in a broken world. Mary Jane accepted that as the reality that it is. She grieved it, and tried to change it, to mend and reconcile as much as she could, but she understood and accepted it with deep, deep sorrow. They joy she found in life and family made those points of sorrow that much more evident.
There’s a benediction, from the 4th century, that goes like this:
May the Lord Christ go before you—to prepare your way;
Christ beside you, be companion to you, everywhere you go;
Christ beneath you, strengthen and uphold you – when you fall—or fail;
Christ behind you, finish and complete what you must leave undone;
Christ within you, give you faith and courage, love and hope;
But mostly --
Christ above you, bless and keep you, now and evermore!
Amen!
Mary Jane has left things undone – both in the best sense of the word and otherwise. She set so many of us on good paths. It is our task to follow those paths – to follow her example, and to never forget that, as Paul wrote to the church in Rome so long ago- neither trouble or hardship or persecution, famine or nakedness, danger or the sword, neither death nor life, nor angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, height nor depth—nothing in ALL creation will separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Let’s pray.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
